Where You Can Find Me Page 14
My steps faltered again as self-consciousness settled around me. I knew Jack was nervous for when I finally met Grayson, but his tension put me on edge and my confidence began to deflate. Why did he look like this was the last place he wanted to be and I was the last person he wanted to introduce to his friend? By the time I reached the table my eyebrows lowered and a forced smile settled on my lips. Jack held his hand out to me and I walked into his arms, receiving his hug and a lingering kiss on my cheek. He brought his hand up to my neck and his resigned eyes rose to mine.
“Hey, how are you? How is your day going?” He leaned in for another kiss before I could answer as though he wanted to squeeze as much in before I turned to meet Grayson.
“It’s good. I’m good. I’m glad we could meet for lunch.”
“Yeah. So, I hope you don’t mind. I brought Grayson along for lunch since we were driving around together and I didn’t have time to go back and get my car to meet you.”
I tried to give him a reassuring smile and hoped that settled both of our nerves. “No. Not at all.” I did a quick half turn with a small smile at the person behind me without really seeing him. I started feeling awkward that we hadn’t really acknowledged his presence. “You know I’ve been dying to meet the elusive Mr. Grayson anyways.” I slipped in a joke we created about him being Christian Grayson from Fifty Shades of Grayson. It was dumb but I couldn’t be bright and witty with the amount of panic settling in my chest.
With a quick nod Jack began the introductions. “ Luella, this is Grayson, my partner. Grayson, this is my girlfriend, Luella.”
In my eagerness to meet him, a genuine smile tilted my lips as I turned to greet the man behind me. He stood to shake my hand. His tall body towered over me and my eyes had no choice but to stare at his hand and look up his wide chest before settling on his unique gray-blue eyes. I felt a familiar tug at the back of my mind as I placed my hand in his. Something about him made me feel like I had met him before. My curiosity spilled into my greeting as my voice came out quieter than I intended. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you.”
His eyes crinkled at the corners in humor as his full lips tipped up in a flirtatious smile. His eyes dropped to my chest before rising back up to my face and lingering on my mouth. Jack had warned me he would be flirtatious but I never expected him to be so forward. My skin tightened uncomfortably as I tried to process all the feelings bombarding me. I couldn’t let go of this nagging voice in the back of my head that made me feel like I had met him before. And through it all, I couldn’t deny that the way he looked at me in front of Jack made my breathing increase and my cheeks flush.
Fuck! What was wrong with me? Was I really getting turned on by my boyfriend’s best friend? Where did I know him from?
“It’s nice to officially meet you too, Luella,” he responded in a deep voice I knew I had heard before.
And there it was. That voice made it all click into place. My stomach bottomed out as my smile vanished and my jaw dropped open. I could feel my eyes open wide as shock settled deep in the pit of my stomach. Adrenaline rushed through me, numbing my feet, and I felt a desperate need for air.
“C’mon, man. Don’t you want any help? Look at those thighs wrapped tight around you. And look at those tits bounce with every thrust. I could let her lay against me and play with those sweet pink nipples.”
“Oh, fuck me,” I whispered on the rush of breath leaving my body. The night Jack fucked me in the bathroom at the bar came rushing back full force with the sound of his voice.
“Oh, fuck me.” It needed to be said again.
Grayson, the stranger who walked in on Jack and I having sex—Jack’s best friend—chuckled while a full smile lifted his lips and he rubbed his thumb across my mostly numb hand. “I guess she does remember me, Jack. I told you. Girls can’t forget my handsome face.”
Frozen. I stood there like a block of ice as my body automatically pushed air in and out of my slacked jaw. Honest to God, I couldn’t move. There were no words rushing to the surface to help me process this horrifying situation. The only sound bombarding my brain was a loud white noise and a panicked whisper of ‘Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.’
A hand rested on my shoulder and soothed down my arm bringing me back to the present. The noises from the restaurant returned along with my bodily movements. I took a deep breath and finally pulled my hand away from Grayson’s.
“Lu, we can leave if you want. We don’t have to do this.” I could hear the tension in Jack’s voice as he reached down to squeeze my hand. Finally, I understood his hesitation about me meeting Grayson. He knew I would remember him walking in on us. Maybe he was embarrassed by his friend’s actions. Or maybe he wasn’t and he didn’t want to admit it to me. Either way, I stood there with two choices: either freak out and walk away—which a large part of me wanted to do—or to act casual and just move on because this was his friend. I wanted a future with Jack and I didn’t want him to have to split that time between Grayson and me. I knew how much of struggle it would be if he didn’t like Evie.
I decided to be the bigger person and move on. With a deep breath I turned just enough to give Jack a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand before giving my full attention to Grayson. I let out a short laugh and a self-deprecating eye roll. “Yeah. I guess you were lucky enough to see that. Well, sorry about that. But either way it’s good to meet you finally. Officially.” I even managed to add a wink at the end.
“I’m not sure lucky is a strong enough word to describe how I felt after that.” He returned my wink much more successfully than I had given mine as we all finally sat at our table.
“Grayson,” Jack said in a warning tone, “Please don’t push or embarrass her.”
“Embarrassed? Who’s embarrassed?” I patted Jack’s knee and leaned in close. “Don’t worry baby. I don’t get embarrassed.” Jack knew I was overcompensating for how uncomfortable I felt. But he cared for me enough not to mention it. He just shook his head and tried to redirect the conversation. The waiter saved him from the task by coming to bring chips and salsa and a water for me.
“Hi, I’m Whitney. I’ll be your server today. Are you guys ready to order or do you need a few minutes?” Her eyes lingered on Grayson for a moment longer before checking everyone else’s answer. She shamelessly returned her eyes back to Grayson while we all ordered. He boldly let his gaze wander down to the colorful flower tattoo on her firm thigh and back up before giving her a wink as she walked away. I couldn’t blame him, the tattoo drew my attention with the way the colors bled together like a watercolor painting covering from her knee to disappear under her black skirt.
I turned my attention back to the table as an awkward silence settled around us.
“So…” A giggle escaped my mouth. A fucking giggle. I laughed when I felt uncomfortable and it always came out high pitched and even more awkward than the situation that caused it. My cheeks burned and I dug deep to contain the rest of the giggles fighting to escape.
Jack saved me from further embarrassment when he placed his hand on top of mine and let out his own low chuckle. “Grayson, this is my girl, Lu. She does some funny things when she’s uncomfortable, but she’s cute as hell when she does them.”
I dragged my eyes from the table and gave him a grateful smile before finally turning to Grayson with a helpless shrug. He continued to stare at me as though he wanted to eat me whole. The intensity sent a heat through me and I quickly looked away to Jack to see a curious look in his eyes. He watched the way Grayson acted toward me but I think mostly he watched the way I reacted to him hitting on me. My mind turned toward what Jack told me about his past relationships. Just the thought of him and Grayson with one woman together caused my breath to increase. What would it be like? These two amazing men pleasuring me; all their attention solely focused on me and my wants and needs.
Shit.
When did I become the woman between these two men? But the thought stayed there in my mind. I licked my lips and swallowed, try
ing to get moisture back into my parched mouth. What would it be like? Their looks were so different. Jack had dark hair and bright blue eyes, while Grayson had dirty blond hair and cold gray-blue eyes. My breasts began to feel heavy as my pulse moved to my core and I imagined my small frame being surrounded by these two large men.
I lifted my eyes to peek at Grayson while he and Jack talked. His lips were so full. I wondered what they would feel like against mine. His words from the night he walked in on Jack and me played through my mind, setting up the perfect imagery.
“C’mon, man. Don’t you want any help? Look at those thighs wrapped tight around you. And look at those tits bounce with every thrust. I could let her lay against me and play with those sweet pink nipples.”
Grayson’s eyes moved to mine and a slow smile tipped one side of his mouth, lifting his heavily stubbled cheek. My eyes widened and I jerked them away from his to look at the water being set in front of me. I mentally shook myself and reprimanded myself for letting my thoughts drift away. What the hell was I thinking? I took a deep breath and tried to control my body. Jack squeezed my hand and gave me a wink.
I gave him a weak attempt at a reassuring smile, but it felt forced and the glint in his eyes made me nervous. Like he knew the thoughts I just had in my mind and he planned on asking me about them later; like he would enjoy it.
When our food came, I tried to stay in the conversation without being weird but I couldn’t help the tension tightening my shoulders. I took a lot of deep breaths and tried a few subtle neck rolls. Mostly the guys talked about the case and their business. Grayson asked me about my job and my brother’s bar. The conversation remained simple and by the end of lunch my shoulders had lowered back to their normal resting spot. Barely. Grayson still slid in sexual comments and looks when he could but Jack didn’t seem to mind. He just laughed them off, so I followed his lead and did the same. I was sure the next few times we hung out it would get easier.
And they did. Over the next couple of weeks, Jack and I would meet for lunch as often as possible and Grayson would join us more and more frequently. The comments and looks continued but I learned to deal with it. As I became more comfortable with him I even began to make my own comments back. Jack just laughed and watched us. His looks became more and more heated as the meetings continued. He never did ask me about zoning out at our first lunch together, but I saw it there in his eyes. I knew it was only a matter of time before he did. It began to consume my thoughts. I wondered if he missed having threesomes with Grayson. I wondered if we would always ignore the way Grayson flirted with me and if Jack would watch like he enjoyed the interaction. I wondered if he would ask me if I wanted Grayson to join us some time. Most of all, I wondered what I would say.
Chapter Twenty
Turning Page - Sleeping At Last
Jack spent less and less time with me at night because he began working the case harder. I guessed the night time was when all the people he needed to speak to came out to do their work. I tried not to be bothered by it. I didn’t feel bothered by the lack of time with him as much as fear over the dangerous position he worked in every night. He sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to daycare workers. So even if tracking a serial killer wasn’t enough, he talked to criminals on a daily basis. I tried not to let my fear of losing someone I loved consume me. I just forced myself to cherish and remember the time we spent together.
He still made plenty of time for me. We went on dates and even if we couldn’t make it back to one of our houses before he had to go we still made love before he left. One night he dragged me into a hidden alley and fucked me up against a brick wall. He fucked me so hard the back of my dress had tears in it. It was frantic and amazing. I loved when he gripped me so tight he left bruises on my thighs. I loved to feel his desperation to have me. I loved him.
I’d finally accepted it and wanted to tell him. But I became a cliche and wanted to wait for the right moment. Or really any moment. We hadn’t had alone time and I didn’t want to say it randomly or in a crowded restaurant. And I didn’t want to say it while he made love to me. I wanted him to know I said it because I meant it and not in a moment of passion. So while I hadn’t told him yet, I tried to show him every moment we spent together.
One night, he didn’t have any work to do and we ordered in pizza. A movie played but we barely watched it as we made out and groped on the couch. We both had already come once from dry humping each other like a bunch of teenagers. I found it sexy that he just came in his pants and didn’t even care about the mess; like he wore what I did to him with pride. Facing him, I scooted back, resting my butt on his knees straddling him and reached my hands into his pants to rub his come onto my fingers. Without losing eye contact I pulled my wet fingers out and scooted off his legs to sit on the coffee table. I only wore a long t-shirt and panties and I spread my legs so he could see all of me. With my hand coated in his come I pushed my underwear aside and began to rub my clit.
“Oh, fuck.” It came out as a deep moan like he was pleading to God for patience. Or maybe it was a thank you for being able to watch me. “Yeah, baby. Rub my come all over that pussy. You know it’s mine. Mark it as mine.”
I leaned back, resting my free hand behind me as I tilted my head back and pushed two fingers inside my core. I had never pleasured myself in front of anyone before but doing it for Jack turned me on faster than anything before. A fine sheen of sweat coated my skin as a flush rose up my neck and into my cheeks. I pulled my fingers out and circled my clit again letting a moan escape my lips.
“Look at me.” His deep voice vibrated through my chest tightening my nipples to hard points. I lifted my head and met his eyes. “Do you like me watching you?” I nodded. “You keep finding ways to show me how much you love being watched.” We exchanged a knowing look, making the tension thick between us as I waited for him to acknowledge that it made us both think of Grayson and how he watched us. “I love it.” I felt both relief and disappointment that he didn’t bring up Grayson. “Now come for me.”
I let go of the feeling as I rubbed faster and harder and came moments later. I watched his eyes burn as my thigh muscles tightened prolonging the orgasm. My whole body clenched as the euphoric wave ripped through me. I let out a deep breath once it had ebbed and pulled my hand from between my thighs. We both breathed heavily as I licked my lips and brought my fingers to my mouth touching them to my tongue.
His lip curled up and a growl rumbled out of his chest. He stood and picked me up from the table and I wrapped my legs around his waist while he carried me to my bedroom. As soon as we stepped into the room he tossed me onto the bed and began removing his shirt before I even stopped bouncing. Next he moved his hands to the button on his jeans and said, “Get naked.”
I didn’t have to be told twice and quickly removed my shirt and underwear. A small moment passed while we were both naked; me, laying back on the bed supported by my hands behind me and him, standing at the foot of the bed. A moment of silence stretched out between us as we took each other in. The calm before the storm. I never tired of looking over his long and muscular body. Every part of his body was solid in that perfectly lean way of not being bulky. I took it all in before he swallowed me whole and we devoured each other.
“My sweet, dirty Luella. You really do love being watched, don’t you?” I met his eyes and saw in them where this conversation would take us. I had been waiting for it. I gave a small nod as my breathing increased and I swallowed the saliva building in my mouth in anticipation. “You love to push your sexual boundaries.”
“I do with you,” I responded with an unintentional whisper. A glimmer of a smile appeared in his eyes letting me know he approved of my response.
He climbed on the bed and moved over me. “How far do you think we can push those boundaries?” HIs lips fell to my neck and made their way to my jaw as goose bumps spread over my skin. “How far do you want to push them?”
My head fell back and my response fell from my mouth on
a gasp as he bit down hard on my shoulder. “As far as you want. I want it all with you.”
He stopped his exploration of my skin with his mouth and settled himself between my spread legs. His eyes stayed focused on me; studying me, as he placed a condom on and lined himself up with my pussy. Just when he was about to push in he stopped. “Do you want it all with me,” He paused and then pushed inside me with one shove and asked, “And to share it with Grayson?”
And there it was. The question I knew he had been waiting to bring up, but no matter how much I prepared myself for it, it still shocked me. It still made me nervous to think about. I couldn’t think about it now while he thrusted in and out relentlessly. “I … I don’t…” I couldn’t form words. I could barely hold any thoughts beyond the feeling of him on top of me, of the desire in his eyes while he fucked me. He grabbed my thigh and brought it up over his hip to get a deeper angle. “I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. I saw the way your mind wandered when we had lunch the first time. I saw the way you flushed. Your increased breathing. The way your nipples hardened. I see the interest in your eyes when we all get together. You love the attention we both give you.”
I couldn’t focus but I started to worry that maybe he thought I liked Grayson on an intimate level. I began to shake my head no as I gasped for breath. His head dropped to my nipple and sucked it deep into his mouth, ending the torture with a small bite. A moan slipped from my throat as I tried to explain. “No. It’s not like that, Jack. I only want you.”
“Oh, sweet Lu. It’s okay. I know you belong to me.” His hips slowed down to make sure I understood he knew I only cared about him and I heard what he was saying. “I know you would never want anything emotional with Grayson. But I know you. I see the curiosity in your eyes. I saw it from night one. I saw it even more when I told you about Grayson’s and my threesomes.” He leaned down to brush his light dusting of chest hair over my nipples and spoke in my ear after a bite. “It’s okay, baby. I want to give it to you if that is what you want.” He pulled back to sit upright on his knees and pulled my legs up to his shoulders. ”Is that what you want, Lu?”