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  After a long blink, he finally answered. “No.”

  “Oh.” My mind reeled trying to understand the devastated look covering Ian’s face. I felt like I was missing something. “Why not? Does she live too far away?”

  His eyes were dark and blank when he finally looked at me, and I should have known the answer before he even said it. No one in this kind of family let distance keep them away. “She died.”

  “Oh, shit,” I breathed. God, I felt like an asshole. I was jealous of someone who wasn’t even alive. “I’m sorry, Ian,” I said, offering comfort with my hand in his. He linked our fingers together and squeezed.

  “It’s not something we really talk about.”

  I opened my mouth to ask more when Amelie called from down the hall. “Dinner’s ready.”

  With one last squeeze, he led me to the long table. A folding table was added to the end to accommodate all the guests. Another table stood off to the side for the kids.

  We all crammed into our spots, passing food around the table, making jokes and poking fun. It was loud and controlled chaos. It was wonderful. Although, I slapped Ian’s hand more than once when he kept stealing my food.

  “It tastes so much better from your plate,” he explained.

  I rolled my eyes and stole a scoop of his mashed potatoes in return.

  Once the meal was over, Amelie finally broke down and let a few of us help clean up. I was walking back from the restroom when I stopped at the entryway of the living room. Ian sat back on the couch a sleeping Audrey sprawled on his broad chest. While that sight always stole my breath, it was the woman sitting next to him that had me stopping in my tracks.

  A heavy rock settled in my stomach as I took them in crammed right next to each other, her side completely pressed to his.

  Everyone had filled up the living room, playing games and watching football, so it wasn’t like there was anywhere else for her to sit. But did she have to lean into him to stroke Audrey’s cheek? Did she have to look up at him like the sun set on him? Did she have to laugh lightly and squeeze his leg when he told a joke?

  The worst part was that those weren’t even the biggest questions flooding my head. No, the one roaring the loudest, flooding every cell in me with doubt and hurt, was why wasn’t Ian stopping her? He even patted her hand resting on his knee. He smiled down at her with his casual smirk I wanted to claim as just mine.

  I closed my eyes, counting to ten and barely swallowing down the need to shout across the room for her to stop touching him.

  Bile rising in my throat and the squeezing pressure on my chest reminded me of the first time I realized Jake and Jackson were closer than I thought. The feeling consumed me and tried to pull me down into a panicked spiral. I couldn’t stand there and watch them anymore because the more I saw, the easier it was for my mind to convince me that history was repeating itself.

  I stepped into the kitchen, leaning against the counter and rolling my neck to ease the muscles pulling tight. I never wanted to feel this again, and I sure as hell didn’t want to stand by and let it happen, allowing it to grow and get worse in my silence.

  No, I wasn’t going to allow someone to step in this time. I sucked in a deep breath, stretching my lungs to the max, forcing the muscles to relax and grabbed a bottle of beer. Pulling my shoulders back, I walked—strutted—into the living room to my man. The tension eased when I stood in front of Ian, and his eyes tracked from my hips to linger on my breasts before finally meeting my eyes with undeniable heat.

  Ignoring everyone around us, even blocking out Hanna, I held the beer up, letting my eyes track over him too. “Trade?”

  I decided not to feel bad that I used my sultry sex voice to ask if Ian wanted to trade our baby for beer in a room full of people. I had a point to make, and a crowd wouldn’t stop me. For the most part, everyone ignored us, but I could feel Hanna’s eyes glued to our every move.

  I should feel bad for flaunting our relationship in front of her, but then I remembered her hand on his leg, and just like that, any remaining guilt disappeared.

  “You sure?” Ian asked. “Do you need help?”

  I smirked, knowing he was offering a make-out session somewhere, but while I wanted to mark my territory, I didn’t know how I felt about making out in a room at a house I was a guest at.

  “I’ve got it. You relax.”

  Before I took Audrey, I leaned over him and planted a soft kiss, loving the way he lifted his head to chase my lips. He growled and nipped at my smiling retreating lips.

  “Dessert,” he whispered.

  Smiling, I hefted Audrey in my arms, finally taking a moment to peek over at Hanna who was staring down into her wine glass, her thumb tapping against the side.

  Point. Proven.

  The entire time I rocked Audrey to sleep, I couldn’t stop smiling. I’d taken control and not sat idly by, and it felt good. I felt strong.

  I was still smiling when I walked into the kitchen a little later. I was just turning around from grabbing a water from the fridge when Hanna walked in. She smiled without it reaching her eyes.

  “I’m shocked to see Ian so domesticated and bringing someone to Thanksgiving,” she said before I could walk out.

  Part of me screamed to just shrug and walk away. Her tone promised nothing good. But pride had me turning to face her.

  “Why do you say that?”

  She shrugged, her face turning red and her eyes avoiding mine. “He’s just always flitted around from woman to woman—never serious about anyone. I have no doubt he’s going to be the best father, but he always claimed he’d never settled down. He said no woman was enough for him and never would be.”

  Somehow, I managed a forced smile. “Well, people change. We have a baby together, and we’re devoted to making it work.”

  Her eyes flicked around the room, avoiding mine. She swallowed a few times and licked her lips before she gave the most condescending smile. “Okay.”

  Fire started low in my stomach and rose up my chest, but before it could break free, she turned to leave.

  “Bitch,” I growled under my breath.

  I’d just closed my eyes to take a deep breath when Alex walked in. “Who pissed in your cheerios?”

  “Huh?”

  The brunette scanned me with her crystal blue eyes. “You look like you’re about to murder someone.”

  A laugh broke free, because in that moment, I kind of felt like I could do some damage. I probably should have smiled and said everything was fine, but I needed to talk about Hanna. The fact that Alexandra probably knew her better might give me some better insight into the situation.

  “Do Ian and Hanna have a previous relationship?”

  “Umm, no. But I’m sure Hanna wishes there was something. Erik said she’s crushed on him since she was a kid.”

  That’s a long time to want someone. “That makes our last interaction make sense, I guess.”

  “What happened?”

  “She definitely insinuated Ian wasn’t going to stay with me because he was too much of a player.”

  Her brows shot to her hairline. “What?”

  “Yeah. I’ve never known Hanna to be quite so forward and…”

  “Bitchy,” Alexandra filled in where I couldn’t.

  “Exactly. I’ve known her for a year, and she’s been so nice. Hell, we’ve had lunch and inside jokes about being some of the few women in our line of work. I wouldn’t have said we were friends, but I also wouldn’t have expected what just happened.”

  “Look, it’s not my place to say anything, but Hanna doesn’t feel comfortable around many guys, so I think she latched on to her comfort with Ian. If it makes you feel better, I’m not sure Ian even notices anything other than having brotherly affection to her.”

  “I’d like to say it does, but I think my own issues block me from feeling relief.”

  “Past hurts never fail to weigh us down.”

  “Ain’t that the truth.”

  Alex tapped h
er wine glass to my water bottle and gave a sad smile. “Maybe try talking to Ian. He can be oblivious sometimes, so maybe pointing it out will change things.”

  Maybe.

  I couldn’t help but think maybe it would put me in the same position I’d been with Jake, of him choosing between past and present. Jake chose his past, and I wasn’t sure I could handle it if Ian did too.

  Hanna’s words stuck with me the rest of the night, and I struggled to convince myself they weren’t the truth.

  She was wrong.

  She was just jealous.

  Ian was committed to me.

  I was enough for him.

  I repeated the affirmations to myself, but even with his head buried between my thighs later that night, having me for dessert, doubts crept in.

  Was I enough?

  25 Ian

  “Maybe we shouldn’t go,” Carina suggested, holding Audrey close.

  “No,” I responded, taking and passing her off to Alexandra. “I have reservations, and we have capable babysitters. We’re going.”

  “If she loses a lung, we’ll call you,” Erik said.

  “You’re not funny,” she deadpanned.

  Audrey had formed a little cough last night, and it had Carina waking up each time she heard the pathetic little noise. But she ate fine and seemed alert. Nothing to worry about, I’d reminded her before we left the apartment.

  Alexandra bumped her shoulder to Erik’s in a reprimand. “I promise we won’t take our eyes off her. You guys are only a phone call away if anything happens.”

  I pointed a finger between Alex and Erik. “No screwing on the job.” Then leaned down to press a kiss to Audrey’s forehead. “You let Daddy know if you see anything inappropriate.”

  Erik rolled his eyes but smiled Carina’s way to let her know all was fine.

  Worried that Carina wouldn’t be able to enjoy the night, I worked extra hard to keep her mind off Audrey and focused on us. Audrey was the center of our universe, but tonight, Carina was the center of mine.

  I’d taken her to dinner at a steak house that was built in an old police precinct, wanting to give her the best. The dim lighting and table tucked away in a corner gave us the feel of seclusion and set the mood for romance. Taking advantage, I slid my hand up her skirt at the end of the meal.

  “Naughty girl,” I growled when I found out she wasn’t wearing panties. I’d just swiped my finger between her folds, damn near groaning at the wet heat, when the waitress came back with our bill.

  “How was dinner?” she asked.

  “Delicious,” I answered, bringing my finger to my mouth to taste Carina’s sweet pussy.

  My cock had been at half-mast all night with Carina in her tight black dress, but after that, I was hard as a rock, ready to explode.

  She tried to jump me in the car once the valet brought it around, but I somehow found the strength to hold her back. I had plans for her tonight, and if I let her distract me, we’d end up fucking in the car for hours. “Not yet, Carina.”

  She grumbled adorably but sat back and waited. When we parked, I moved around to open her door and offer my hand, loving the way she easily slid her palm against mine. We’d come so far from the hesitation and regretful touches. Now, she reached for me without thought, linking her fingers in mine.

  “Where are we going?”

  I gestured over my shoulder to the giant Ferris wheel. “Have you been on it yet?”

  “No.” A smile stretched her cheeks like an excited kid on Christmas. “I’ve wanted to, but never had a chance.”

  “Good.” I couldn’t wait to get her up high above—alone.

  When we reached the top, we looked around at the sparkling lights of the city, taking in the iconic bridge and lit up towers, sparkling off the river below.

  “It’s beautiful,” she breathed.

  I closed the gap between us on the bench. “You’re beautiful.”

  The cart was completely encased in glass, but the lights were dimmed to not interfere with the view. I rested my hand on her knee before moving to her thigh, pulling it up onto the seat between us.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Finishing what I started at dinner. Just to take the edge off.”

  I walked my fingers up her thigh until I was right outside her pussy, feeling the heat begging me to play.

  “Ian, what if people see?”

  “They’ll just see a couple cuddling, taking in the sights. They won’t be able to see the way my fingers fuck into your tight cunt until you come.”

  Without any warm-up beyond the torture of the last hour, I shoved two fingers roughly inside her. We both moaned, the sounds filling the cart.

  Her eyes slid closed, and her head rolled back when I curled my fingers inside her. Not allowing her to hide her reaction from me, I buried my free hand in her hair and tugged her up. “No. Look at me. I want to watch you try and control your cries when you come all over my fingers.”

  “Ian,” she whimpered, my thumb now rubbing at her clit.

  “We don’t have long, Carina,” I warned against her lips. “I won’t stop until you make a mess on my hand. Not even if he opens the doors when we stop. He’ll have to stand there and watch your orgasm.”

  I wasn’t trying to drag it out and tease her, although part of me wanted to. I moved my fingers with a purpose to make her come as fast as possible.

  “Would you like that?” I whispered against her lips. “To have someone watch you as you fall apart in my arms, my hand buried deep between your thighs.”

  Her hand shot out and held on to my shoulder, struggling to keep her eyes on mine. I liked watching the colors change the closer she got to coming. They were light like the ocean, but when she was turned on like this, on the brink of losing control, they were as dark as the midnight sky.

  Her nails dug in through the material of my shirt, and she lost the battle. Her eyes slammed shut, and her teeth dug into her lush bottom lip as her pussy squeezed around my fingers. I ached to fill her with my cock, but that would have to wait. I’d hate to get arrested on our first night out as parents.

  Her eyes slid open again just in time to watch me lick every spicy-sweet drop from my fingers. Taking deep breaths, I had to fight from falling to my knees and eating her until she came again. Thankfully, we reached the bottom, and our time was up, removing temptation—for now.

  We walked out, hand-in-hand like nothing happened. When she turned to head back to the car, I tugged her in the opposite direction.

  “Where are we going now?”

  “I have another surprise.”

  “Okay, but if I don’t get your cock in me soon, I may die.”

  “We can’t have that now. I’m not into necrophilia.”

  I pulled her into me and nibbled at her lips, taking my time to taste her and feel every inch of her mouth on mine. Before I lost control, I pulled back with a groan.

  “We’re on a timeline. Otherwise, I’d take you right here and now for everyone to see.”

  “Promises, promises.”

  She yelped when I smacked her ass, followed by her musical laugh.

  She kept giving me curious looks as we approached the baseball stadium and a janitor let us in. I led her up into the stands behind home base, giving us a perfect view of the stadium under minimal lighting.

  “How the hell is this happening?” she asked, laughing at my side.

  We sank into the seats, and I linked my fingers with hers. “I knew a guy in college who works here now.”

  “You know all kinds of people. Are you trying to impress me with your contacts?”

  “Would it work if I tried?”

  “Nope.”

  “I figured.” I shrugged and looked back out at the field. “Erik and I used to go out to the fields all the time. We liked sitting in the middle of an empty stadium like all this space helped us think. We’d lay behind second and drink beers and talk about how we’d become the next Bill Gates.”

  “Those ar
e some lofty goals.”

  “We may have also smoked a little pot too.” She laughed and slid her fingers between mine, sending chills up my arm. “Empty baseball stadiums are one of my favorite places.”

  This was my private place, and I’d never taken anyone here before. Not that I could get into the Red’s stadium very often, but I’d never taken anyone to any of the fields I frequented.

  But when I planned this date for Carina, I wanted to share it with her. I wanted her to be a part of this.

  “You played baseball too, right? Not just frequent the fields to smoke pot,” she said, laughing.

  I almost forgot that I’d told her. That time before Audrey seemed like a lifetime ago. “I sure did.”

  “Were you good?”

  “I got picked up for college. My parents wanted me to go pro, but without Erik playing with me, it lost its appeal.”

  “Was he not good enough?”

  I snorted. “He was way better than me, but he tore his shoulder in high school and decided not to push it. I guess neither of us loved it enough to go for pro.”

  “But your parents wanted you to? Even if you didn’t love it?”

  “Yeah.” I laughed, remembering telling them I was through. “It was my junior year when I finally quit. My dad was furious and said I couldn’t commit to anything and if I didn’t stick with something, I’d be a waste.”

  She didn’t say anything, but her hand squeezed mine in support.

  “Erik and I had just sold our first application and had a slew more in our back pockets. I didn’t need the scholarship anymore from baseball. I had more money than any twenty-one-year-old knew what to do with.”

  “That’s amazing. They had to see how amazing that was.”

  I tipped my head to the side and smiled at her innocent view of everything. “Not really. They honestly didn’t really care about it. They claimed a backroom application made in a college dorm was a waste of time.”

  She leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine, pulling back just enough to let me see the sincerity in her eyes. “Well, you showed them.”

  “I did, didn’t I?”

  “But,” she said, cocking her brow, her lips tipping just slightly, “I will definitely need to see you in tight pants, playing ball.”