Where You Can Find Me Read online

  I loved my brother. I couldn’t ask for anyone better, but he tended to be overprotective of me. Especially after what I put him through and after what we had both been through in the past. We had lost so much and we were all we had left.

  As we pulled into the parking lot, I took a deep breath upon seeing the familiar sign with the cursive writing. Jameson had begun working at the bar when he turned eighteen and after the owner retired, he sold it to Jameson for next to nothing. My brother made the place ten times better and had paid off the loan in a quarter of the time. To know that Jack enjoyed the place so much warmed my heart; I was proud of his accomplishments. He sacrificed a lot when my parents died. He stopped his life to take care of me and Asher.

  Jack led me to a table close to the bar and on the edge of the dance floor. King’s had a simple look, but a lot of details that made it seem more elaborate. The floors were a scarred wood, making the bar look older than it was. The bar had a shining wood top with stones along the back wall. The liquor bottles sat atop heavy pine shelves, almost looking like fireplace mantles at a lodge. Lights from above made everything shine and set the mood for a relaxed, but fun place to be. There were long oak tables throughout the whole place. Everything from pictures of famous people visiting King’s to concert posters to trains lined the walls. It showcased a hodgepodge of everything and anything. It was as eclectic as it was classic. I loved it.

  “I’m going to go get us some drinks.” Jack leaned down and kissed my forehead before walking away.

  As soon as he turned his back I waved Angela over. She had worked at King’s for three years and I knew her well.

  “Hey girl! Who is that yummy piece of man-meat you came in with?” She leaned her hip on the table and smiled mischievously.

  Laughing, I asked, “Is my brother working the bar tonight?”

  I thought she saw my concern. “No, he’s in the back like the rest of the Friday nights.”

  I sighed in relief and felt my shoulders fall. “Could you maybe not mention that I’m out here? My date doesn’t know this is my brother’s bar and I really don’t want to introduce them just yet. You know how Jameson is.”

  She smiled knowingly. “Sure girl! I will spread the word to keep it on the down-low. Enjoy your night. I sure as hell know I would if I had him sitting across from me.” She turned after giving me one last wink.

  Jack came back to the table bringing me a vodka and cranberry. “For you, my lady.”

  “Thank you.” I grabbed the two tiny black straws in my mouth and took a long drink, trying to relax.

  Angela came back over to take our order and after, Jack and I sat back to watch the couples on the dance floor. He reached his hand across the table and settled it atop of mine. It was rough and warm and perfect on mine. I looked over at him and caught him staring, which made me smile shyly.

  “You look beautiful tonight.”

  “Thank you, Jack. I wasn’t quite sure what to wear since you didn’t give me any clues as to where we were going. I just knew not too fancy.”

  In truth, I’d probably tried on ten outfits. I wanted to look sexy for him but casual at the same time. I ended up deciding on a pair of black liquid leather leggings and a large, gray, slouchy sweater. My chocolate brown hair curled into natural waves down my back to my waist. I used a heavy eyeliner to make my green eyes pop. Everything else was pretty simple. I didn’t know how much walking we would be doing so I wore my black, low-heeled, ankle boots. I felt good about the way I looked tonight, especially after seeing Jack’s appreciative gaze.

  Jack looked ridiculously yummy in his casual black slacks and dark blue, crewneck sweater. The sweater had just enough blue to make his eyes seem that much more intense. His hair looked like it had some product in it making it look almost black. All of that paired together with his goatee and five o’clock shadow made him look dangerous and casual all balled up into one delicious man. I couldn’t help but look at him and wonder if he had thoughts of our night together just like he told me. I wondered what he had planned for tonight.

  I was pulled from my thoughts when Angela brought our food out. We were in a comfortable silence with some small talk thrown in. Every once in awhile I noticed the heat in his eyes that warned me what the plans were for the evening. Nothing was said or mentioned about later, but by the looks exchanged, it was clear we were done waiting. We were done taking it slow.

  As soon as Angela cleared the table Jack turned to me and held out his hand. “Dance with me.”

  Not a question, but a command. Hesitance creeped into my voice. “Jack...”

  With a smirk pulling at his lips and the creases appearing in his cheeks, he calmed my worries. “Just a dance, Luella. Unless you want more,” he said with a raised eyebrow and a tilt of his head.

  “I think we will just stick with dancing for now.” I reached over and placed my hand in his and he pulled me up toward the dance floor. A mashup of songs had been playing all night and right now Work by Jimmy Eat World played through the speakers. The pace was slow enough that Jack could wrap his arms around me, but fast enough that I didn’t have an excuse to curl myself up against him.

  An excuse to get closer came with the next song: Michael Kiwanuka’s Bones. I loved the song for it’s old-fashioned feeling and old time bluesy tones. I felt as though I could have been his “sweetheart.” With his right hand lying low on my back and my left around his neck, our two remaining hands held each others’ curled in between our bodies. I laid my head on his chest and moved to the beat.

  “Luella,” Jack whispered in my ear, his breath moving my hair.

  My eyes dropped to his lips and I instinctively licked mine, biting my bottom lip as my eyes lifted to his. His look caused my heart to kick up and begin racing. I saw want in his eyes, but I was sure he saw desperate yearning emanating from mine. All of a sudden, I felt a panic settle over me as though if he didn’t kiss me and push this to the level we so obviously wanted then … then I didn’t know. Something drastic would happen. Maybe volcanoes would erupt at the injustice of it all. The theory was dramatic but it explained the panicked feeling rising inside me.

  He leaned down, flicking his eyes up looking behind me before refocusing his stare on me and lightly laid his lips on mine. Just a light touch. Nothing at all what I prepared myself for. I wanted to wrap my fingers in his hair and mash his lips into mine. I wanted intense and fierce and feverish. I wanted it all. I felt him pulling away before I could enact my plans. I opened my eyes showing the confusion I was feeling. Jack had his eyes firmly fixed on something behind me.

  Without looking down he asked, “Luella … You are single, correct?”

  What? My eyebrows drew together as I looked at him like he had grown a second head. “What?”

  He looked down at me finally and asked again, “You are single. Correct? As in there is no one who would be angry to see you in my arms?”

  I racked my brain trying to organize the confusion and understand his thought process. “No,” I responded slowly, showing my concern as to where this was coming from.

  “So the giant of a man standing behind the bar, staring me down like he wants to set me on fire, isn’t your boyfriend. Maybe an ex-lover I should be worried about?” His eyes flicked between me and behind me.

  Understanding settled inside me. So did embarrassment about the whole situation and everything about to come next. I knew talking to my brother would not go well. There would be a lot of stare downs and subtle passive aggressive hints about how he didn’t approve. And that was the best outcome I could hope for.

  “Oh fuck me,” I said low and dropped my head in embarrassment.

  Jack mumbled a response I wasn’t sure he intended me to hear. “I planned on it. But now I’m not sure it’s in the cards.”

  I took a deep breath, preparing myself to explain the inevitable. I should have known this would happen. I should have told Jack from the beginning that this was my brother’s bar. I should have lied and told him I hat
ed this place. Well, that wouldn’t have been a lie since in that moment, I did hate the place.

  Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

  Mumbling, I told him, “It’s my brother.”

  He raised an eyebrow looking at me expectantly. “I’m sorry, what was that? He’s your brother? I didn’t know he … Ohhh …” It dragged out as realization dawned on him. “King’s. As in your last name King? As in this is your brother’s bar?”

  “Yup. This is my brother’s bar. And while I haven’t turned around yet, I’m pretty frickin’ sure that that is my brother.”

  Jack let out a low whistle. “He’s a big man. I’m not sure if I’m more or less worried that he is your brother and not some angry ex-boyfriend. Neither seem like great options right now.”

  I gave a low laugh and pep-talked myself for the introductions ahead.

  “We should probably head over.” I grabbed his hand and turned around still not meeting my brother’s eyes. I saw Angela and she mouthed an “I’m sorry.” I shrugged my shoulders knowing better. It wasn’t her fault for the turn of events. To make matters worse, I decided to start spouting off nervous babble and making horrible jokes about a not-funny situation. I looked back at Jack with a cheesy smile. “He might take you dating his baby sister better if you just go ahead and ask for my hand in marriage.”

  His eyebrows raised and eyes widened, not in fear, but definitely in a what-the-hell way.

  “Crap.” I dropped my head, feeling the heat rising up my neck. “I’m sorry. That was dumb. I say stupid shit when I’m nervous and trying to be funny. I don’t expect you to marry me. Not to say it would never happen. I wouldn’t mind marrying you. Not that I thought about it. Not that I wouldn’t think about it. I mean .. we just met, so it would probably be a little—” Jack placed his fingers over my lips and pulled me to a stop, facing him. His crow’s feet were showing as his eyes squinted, trying to hold back his laughter.

  “Shhh, Luella. It’s okay to be nervous. I promise it will be fine. Now stop rambling before I lose my shit and start uncontrollably laughing right here.” He smiled at my struggle. I lowered my eyebrows and pursed my lips, shamelessly pouting. “Damn, you’re cute.” He leaned down to give me a quick peck. “Now, let’s go before I give your giant brother a reason to beat the shit out of me for devouring you right here.” He gave me a wink and then started pulling me over to my brother with his arm around my waist.

  I finally lifted my eyes to my brother.

  Jameson.

  Seeing him from Jack’s eyes I could see how he looked intimidating. He was dark. Dark hair, dark eyes, sneer curving his lips and just an overall dark, brooding attitude. He was six-foot-six and built like a Mack Truck, with broad shoulders and chest. To me, he looked like my usual over-protective brother being an asshole. I tried to remind myself of all the sacrifices he’d made for us as I felt my own annoyance bloom.

  Jack gestured for me to take a seat on the bar stool standing behind me, waiting for the introductions to begin. I had to give it to him, he appeared relaxed and friendly. He chose not to pull his own manly act with my brother. Good call, Jack.

  “Hey, Jameson. This is my … my friend, Jack. Jack this is my brother Jameson. He owns the bar.” I gestured between the two, probably doing the worst introduction attempt ever, but I still managed to glare my brother down, sending death threats through my eyes to not embarrass me.

  Jack moved to stand beside me and reached his hand out to shake Jameson’s. “Hey, man. Nice to meet you.” Jack winced as my brother squeezed his hand too tight. God, he was being such an asshole.

  “Nice to meet you, too.” Jameson finally turned to look at me after some awkward, silent, manly stare down. I greeted him with pursed lips, a flared nose, and glare of my own. I wanted him to know I disapproved of him being a douche bag. “Friends, huh? You seemed a little bit more than friendly out there on the dance floor.” He said the last part only slightly under his breath, but really he wanted us to both hear it.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath through my nose and let it out of my mouth, trying to find my calm before I lost my shit.

  Jack gave a small chuckle and responded before me, “Luella is cautious.” I raised my eyebrow curious as to where he was going with this. “We’ve been dating for almost a month now.”

  The other eyebrow went up too.

  Jack turned to me and smiled. His eyes held a challenge, daring me to say something different. I shrugged my shoulders and leaned in to him, eyeing Jameson with a cocky smirk, having proven a point. I had no freaking clue what that point was, but Jack said we were more than friends and I floated on a high. I was pretty sure I won all points that needed to be proven. Didn’t have to make sense.

  Jameson didn’t seem impressed with my gloating. He just rolled his eyes and turned to talk to Jack again, leaning forward placing both hands on the bar. “Yeah, I know Lu is cautious. She has a lot of reasons to be reserved and cautious—”

  “Jameson!” I placed both hands on the bar and leaned forward. I gave him a hard look demanding he shut his stupid freaking mouth. He turned his head to look at me and we continued our stare down with each other. I didn’t know why he wanted to be such an ass and butt into my life, but I barely held back from jumping over the bar and pummeling him. Jack saved him by striking up new conversation.

  “Cool tattoo. Were you in the Army?”

  He was asking about the tattoo on my brother’s upper right bicep. It had the Army Special Forces symbol with a R.I.P. ribbon above it. The R.I.P. was hidden under the sleeve of his black t-shirt. My eyes pleaded with him to not say anything I wasn’t ready to talk about.

  Without looking away from me he responded, “No, but I knew someone who was.”

  Jack, God love him, tried to keep a conversation going despite my brother’s foul attitude. “That’s cool. I was in the Army for ten years before finally getting out. It was either go for retirement or get out then.” Jameson’s eyes widened at that information. Shocked that I would be okay with someone who was in the military. Even if he wasn’t anymore, I could still see the concern and shock rolling across his face before he finally turned to look at Jack. “My family wanted me out before something went wrong and my buddy was getting out. I figured I would follow him and start a new adventure while appeasing my mom.” Jack ended on a small chuckle.

  He had no idea the bombs he was dropping around him. I moved my eyes to the wooden bar top, unable to see how my brother would reply. “That was probably a good idea, man. Better safe than sorry.” He reached his hand out to Jack to shake it again. “I appreciate the service and sacrifices I’m sure you had to make. I know it must have been hard to get out after so long, but it’s just as admirable to know when it’s time to stop.”

  They shook hands and had a manly understanding. I sat there both happy and a little uncomfortable with their male bonding moment. They continued to shoot the shit for another twenty minutes, talking sports, how Jameson came about owning the bar, and other manly talk that bored me a lot.

  I yawned and stretched, being over the top and dramatic. It was time to take this show on the road. I placed my hand on Jack’s shoulder and leaned over to talk to him. “Hey, I’m going to use the restroom and then do you think you’ll be ready to go? As much as I love you and my brother gabbing like a bunch of girls, it’s getting late.” I tried to be subtle with my suggestion we leave so we could continue where we left off on the dance floor, but my brother’s sound of disgust proved to me I hadn’t been successful.

  “Sure. I’ll be waiting.”

  In the restroom, I touched up my lipstick and tousled my hair a bit to give it the full effect. I wanted to look my best when we left so maybe we could get back to the where we were before my brother interrupted us. As I walked back out, my steps slowed down as I noticed Jack and my brother in a deep conversation. Jack’s eyebrows pulled together and his lips turned down in a small frown. He looked tense along his shoulders as he listened to whatever my brother
was saying. Jameson stood to his full height and seemed to be having the big brother talk with Jack, sharing secrets that weren’t his to share, while I stepped away. It was what he always did when he was trying to protect me.

  I felt my heart drop out of my chest and my lungs constrict. A fierce heat crept up into my cheeks as I imagined what he could be sharing. Tears pricked the backs of my eyes as an embarrassment I tried hard to forget crept through my body. I swallowed, trying to get moisture back in my mouth. I took three slow but deep breaths in through my nose and out my mouth. The past was the past and I was a strong woman who had overcome struggles. It shouldn’t matter what Jameson shared. I was me now and that was all that mattered. It was all that should matter.

  I tried to keep those thoughts in my head, but when Jack noticed me getting closer, he looked at me and smiled. But I saw the worry in his eyes, touched with pity.

  Fuck it. I slapped a smile on my face and acted as though I had no idea what could possibly be going on. I smiled seductively, letting him know I hadn’t forgotten everything he’d mentioned over the past twenty-four hours.

  He promised me a faster pace.

  His touch promised me pleasure.

  And I was ready to collect.

  Chapter Eleven

  Sober - Kelly Clarkson

  As we left the bar, I made sure to make eye contact with Jameson, letting him know that I knew what he had done and I would be back to rip him a new one. But all that slipped from my mind as Jack grabbed my hand in the truck and we drove back to my place. Our hands rested on my thigh and his thumb stroked against my leg making me wish his hand would move higher. A smirk danced across his mouth every time I inched our hands closer to my core. When we pulled into the driveway I turned and looked at him as he shut the truck off. We sat in the quiet, enjoying the tension as I bit my lip. I knew I wanted him to come in but I struggled to get the words out knowing that when I did there would be no turning back.